


A White Christmas

by obsidian_GSD



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, But loves his angel, Christmas, Christmas Angst, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Crowley hates Christmas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21914821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsidian_GSD/pseuds/obsidian_GSD
Summary: Crowley really hates the holiday season, but he's always made time to celebrate it with his angel. He looks forward to seeing which holiday will take front and center every year, and now that they are free, he can't help but use a demonic miracle.When he pulls up to the bookshop though, he should have realized something was off, that this year was going to be different than the others...
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	A White Christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Periphyton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Periphyton/gifts).



> Written as a prompt for someone who's been so supportive of my other fics lately <3

It’s snowing when Crowley pulls up to the bookshop, one of those rare Christmas snows that London doesn’t get very often. The demon looks around as he gets out of the Bentley, smirking as he watches the frozen flakes fall to the ground. They won’t stick around for long - he didn’t ask them too anyways - but at least for tonight and tomorrow morning, London gets to have a white Christmas. 

He’ll never admit that he’s the cause of this, not even to Aziraphale if he can help it. What’s the point, since four letter words will just be thrown around. Can’t be having that. He walks around to the other side of the car and opens the door, reaching inside for the boxes he’s wrapped (threatened) ever so carefully. Once he has everything, he turns back to the shop and makes his way to the door. His first clue that something is up should have been the lack of garland hanging everywhere around the entrance. 

“Angel!” Crowley calls out, unable to keep the grin off of his face. He’s never really cared for this time of year, never found a lot of joy in it, but for the first time, it doesn’t matter. He’s free to celebrate with Aziraphale, free to let himself have a good time doing whatever the angel wants. Free to just be himself. 

His second clue should have been the lack of answer, the eerie quiet creeping around the place, and the strange feeling floating around the shop. Crowley notices none of this though as he blazes his way through the main part of the shop. “Aziraphale, what holiday are we celebrating this year?” Crowley calls again as he walks. 

It’s always different every year. Sometimes, Crowley walks into a winter wonderland, full of more Christmas decorations that he could ever imagine. Other years, Hanukkah takes over the place, with menorahs and decorations everywhere. Crowley’s favorite years (and that’s stretching it), were the years that the angel decided to celebrate Yule. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s always fun. With worrying about the Apocalypse, Aziraphale hasn’t gone all out in a a few years, but Crowley knows that there’s no way he hasn’t this year; he can finally do so without worrying, without someone breathing down the back of his neck. 

They’re both finally free. Finally have nothing to worry about and Crowley finds he can’t stop smiling at the tough. The lack of decorations anywhere in the shop, the missing lights, trees, candles, anything... All of it should have been his third clue. 

Crowley practically bounds into the backroom, sitting the presents down on the angel’s desk as he passes by. “Did you look outside yet?” He asks as he rounds the last corner where the cluttered window area hides from the view of the main shop. “It’s snowing, ange- Aziraphale..?”

It takes the demon a moment to truly process what is in front of him, and even when his brain finally does register the sight, confusion follows soon after. Standing in front of the window is Aziraphale, watching the snow as it falls past. The unusual part for Crowley though, the part he can’t come to grips with, are the tears falling down his angel’s stricken face. If his mind was really processing the sight correctly, the word “grief” might have come to mind as the emotions radiating off of Aziraphale finally strike him. The demon instantly starts to wonder how he didn’t notice the feeling immediately since the entire shop is filled with it. 

Crowley moves forward slowly, not sure if Aziraphale even knows he’s there. “Angel..?” He calls hesitantly. “You doing alright..?”

He can’t even explain why he asks, especially since the answer is pretty obvious. Crowley can’t even remember the last time he saw Aziraphale cry like this and that thought haunts him as he reaches out a tentative hand. When he touches Aziraphale’s shoulder, the other being still gives him no sign he’s noticed Crowley and only continues to stare out of the window. The demon can feel his heart racing at this point, the one that doesn’t even need to be beating in the first place. He’s one second away from jerking on the angel’s shoulder, one breath away from doing anything to get a reaction from his friend...

“It’s snowing...” Aziraphale whispers brokenly and Crowley freezes. 

“Y-yeah,” he replies after a moment. “Thought you would like it...” Crowley’s words trail off Aziraphale lets go a shuddering breath that almost sounds like the beginning of a sob. 

“Crowley, I-” Aziraphale starts, but another sob leaves him and the demon moves to instantly wrap his arms around the angel, guiding him away from the window as he does. It takes a fair bit of time for Crowley to calm Aziraphale down, if only enough to get the angel to tell him what’s wrong. Tears are still streaming down the blonde’s cheeks when he pulls away, but the sobs have at least let up. Cupping Aziraphale’s face in one gentle hand, Crowley waits patiently not wanting to push his friend. 

Aziraphale takes a deep breath, releasing it as a heavy sigh. “I know we’re on our own side now, and you know all I’ll ever need is you, my dear,” Aziraphale starts and Crowley feels his chest tighten as he starts to wonder where this is going. Aziraphale has to take another deep breath before continuing again. 

“I haven’t missed it, not really. Haven’t missed feeling so... out of place, like I didn’t belong and I never would,” the angel explains with more tears falling. Crowley rubs his thumb over the angel’s cheek ever so softly, doing his best to show he’s here for him. “Just now though, watching the snow falls, remembering what time of year it is... It hit me all at once and I...”

When Aziraphale trails off, Crowley pulls him close again and moves a hand to run his fingers through the angel’s curly hair. “I take it this time of year is big up there...” he whispers as he holds his friend.

“I just didn’t realize it was going to be so h-hard this year without all of it,” Aziraphale mumbles, his words muffled by Crowley’s shirt. 

“Want to tell me about it?” Crowley asks when the angel falls silent again. 

Aziraphale shifts against Crowley. “I doubt you really want to hear about it,” he whispers. 

The demon lets out a soft growl as he tightens his hold again. He’ll never forgive the fuckers upstairs for what they’ve done to his angel, never forget how they’ve tried to break him time and time again. “Angel,” he finally replies when he has the growling back under control. “You can always tell me anything. Thought you would know that by now.”

“I just know Heaven isn’t your favorite thing to discuss...” Aziraphale starts, but Crowley cuts in before he can get too far. 

“Doesn’t matter.” Crowley pulls away from Aziraphale just enough to find those piercing blue eyes. With a thought, his sunglasses relocate themselves to a side table somewhere and he can tell that Aziraphale knows he means it now. 

Those blue eyes flick away and Crowley almost chases after them until he realizes they are once again watching the snow that is still falling. “While it’s not like Christmas is celebrated at the correct time of year as far as any ‘birthdays’ are concerned,” he starts and Crowley has to hold back a chuckle at the thought. Not the time... “It’s always a celebration up there. One with so much love and music and joy... Everyone getting together to sing and dance, forgetting all about whatever else is going on in the world, if only for a day or two.”

Crowley waits, knowing his angel isn’t done. He doesn’t really even know what to say, doesn’t know if he can even make it better. Instead, he only runs his hand as soothingly as possible over Aziraphale’s back, trying to give as much comfort as he can to his hurting companion. Aziraphale doesn’t tear his gaze away from the window even when he opens his mouth again. “The last time I truly enjoyed this holiday, the last time I can remember being really happy in Heaven... It snowed down here. I looked down at one point and couldn’t help but smile when I saw that so much of the Earth was gifted with a snow white holiday season and it brought me so much joy...” Aziraphale continues in a whisper. 

“I didn’t think I was going to miss that this year, but the closer it got...” 

Aziraphale’s voice falls off again and Crowley can’t help but wonder if it’s his fault, if the face that he made it snow caused all of this... Part of him knows that there’s no way it’s the entire cause, but he still can’t shake the feeling that if he had just left everything the way it was... “Angel,” he starts, but finds he doesn’t have the words to say what he wants. 

“To be honest, my dear,” Aziraphale begins once more and Crowley can hear the pain behind those words. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, you know how I feel about you, about us...” Crowley would be lying if he said his heart doesn’t drop right then and there with a pang of fear running through him instantly at those words. “I hated it all so much some days, but right now, I feel so very alone without all of it. They were so terrible most days, but they were my family...”

Crowley can feel Aziraphale’s breath hitching again, and even as some part of him is breaking, wondering if they’ve really done the right thing, he only pulls Aziraphale closer to him again. He wraps his long arms around the angel, enfolding him as best as he can. When Aziraphale quickly follows, some part of Crowley relaxes again as his friend buries his face against Crowley. 

The two beings stay like that for a long time. Long enough that it grows dark outside and a faint glow starts to shine through the windows, reflecting off of the snow that is still falling. The sobs don’t return until a faint sound of carolers passing by reaches them, their singing voices faint behind the walls of the bookshop. When they start up again, Crowley doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t move other than to bury his face in Aziraphale’s neck as he rolls his shoulders. With a flutter, glossy black wings move to wrap around them both, shielding them from the outside world.

Hands tighten on the back of Crowley’s jacket, the only sign the demon gets that he’s done something right tonight finally. The sound of the carolers, the lights glowing outside, the sight of the snow falling... It’s all finally blocked out and the two of them just exist in the little pocket Crowley has created. Aziraphale cries and Crowley holds him, shoving down his own tears and emotions as he just tries to be present for his friend, his companion, his...

“I’ll be your family...” Crowley whisper breaks the silence and he just barely catches the new hitch in Aziraphale’s breathing. “I know I’m just a demon, but if you’ll have me, I’ll be your family, angel.”

Aziraphale shifts in his arms after a moment, pulling back just enough for their eyes to lock while they are still hidden under black wings. There’s just enough light filtering in for Crowley to see the tears that still fill blue eyes, but he can also see a new feeling behind them. “You’ve always been my family, Crowley,” the angel whispers and Crowley feels his breath catch. “I know it took me a long time to realize it, but you’ve been by my side through it all, the good and the bad. There’s no way I could ever say you aren’t my family.”

This time, it’s the demon’s eyes turn to fill and before he can blink them back, tears are falling down his own cheeks. He pulls Aziraphale to him once more, reburying his face against his friend’s shoulder. Feathers shuffle around them as his wings tighten around them and Crowley finds what comfort he can in the darkness they provide. 

It isn’t the best holiday season they have ever had together, nor is it the happiest, but after a long time, they find a way to celebrate it. There’s no lights or music or dancing, nor are there candles that need lighting. As the snow continues to fall past, wings part and two beings make their way over to the couch where warm blankets and steaming mugs of cocoa wait for them. Crowley doesn’t hesitate to pull Aziraphale to his side, holding the angel close once more, even as he finally hands over the presents he brought with him. 

They will find their own way to celebrate from now on, just the two of them or with their human friends. They will make their own traditions and mix whatever decorations make the most sense to them that year. It will take them sometime, but they figure out what it means to be a family of two, one where they get to make their own rules, get to support each other every single day.

As Crowley watches Aziraphale open the presents he got for him, he can’t keep the smile off of his face. They both have a hard time keeping the tears away for the rest of the night, but as Aziraphale animatedly talks about the books Crowley managed to find for him, the demon finds it get easier to forgot the sadness. Finds it easier to just enjoy the night, even if he still doesn’t care for the holiday itself. He knows there will be more days like this, ones where Aziraphale misses everything he had to give up, but he also knows that he will always be right by the angel’s side, for as long as the other wants him to be. 

Aziraphale is the only family he’s ever had, and as the snow continues to fall outside, coating London in a soft, fluffy blanket, he feels a sense of peace settle over them both. They have so many years to figure it out, to get it right, and for the first time, Crowley realizes the future no longer scares him. As long as they have each other, he knows it will all turn out alright in the end, and that’s really all that matters.


End file.
